not just today but the past few days i have come to realize a plethora of things, as unfortunate as it seems they are negative to those outside looking in.
i have an attitude, not many people like my attitude for it is that of a negative angry person. who likes attitudes at all at that. but i am not an angry person, i am a merely outspoken person. one that at the end of the day will do whatever i want to, if i find happiness in that decision at that very second then hell i will do it, all i look for is a justification on my part. and i come to my very own conclusions and speak my mind very free. and many people dont like that but i dont ask people to do things for me, and i hate that, i really do... im not asking for you to let me do things my way, im telling you that i am going to live my life and i am going to make my desicions my way... and i will, if they are wrong descisions then so be it let them be wrong, there not yours they are mine to live with, im not dragging anyone down with me and thats not my intention, however people look into my life and the things that i do in the wrong light, when no one asked them to look into at all, its added noise to a syphony that no one wants to hear, let alone pay attention to, as disrespectful as i am, as mean as i am, as hurtful as i am, ... this thing, this unfortunate thing... is me, its who i am... i dont wake up in the morning, make my bed and clean my room and say ...HMMMM??? TODAY FEELS LIKE A FANTASTIC DAY TO SCREW SOMETHING UP... TO MAKE SOME ONE LOOK DIFFERENT UPON ME.... ummm no.
thats not the case at all, i wake up and know that today may not be the best day, today may not be the nicest of days, but today... today is a new day ... and im going to live it and be me...
from day one i stayed true to myself and though many people may say.."THATS ALL YOU CAN DO" thats not always the whole truth and nothing but the truth... for being yourself is one thing and is one step amoungst many others that you can take... for instance watch who you surround yourslef with, and that i do... however... who would ever know that it was the ones closest to you that aggitate and arrivate, and alter the opinions of those around you based upon there own beleive of something that they have no control over for it is not there life, it is mine.
i mean i may not be right all the time, hell i may never be right, but thats the beauty of my life, the ups and downs and sideways that i constantly venture on, to me is the beautiful scenery at the top of my mountain of life. though its not the picture you see in your head, its the one i live and die for at the begining and end of every day i play russina roulet to see if i am blessed with one more day to add to my master piece.
aside from that i must add that it was once said that i was a distraction, and i thought otherwise and said fuck that its not me, its the lack of self discapline in the ones influenced.. but today, rather tonight i decided that maybe i am a distraction, cuz despite how much i try and be resposible and make sure that before anything else the important shit is taken care of... its not based upon my standard, its that of those who oversee... and thats aggrivating cuz in my book it seems like a failure, but hey what can you do...
solitude seems to be a nessecity... not all the times is this good but this time...
this time it seems right..
i may be looked up upon by some, and definitly looked down upon by others, but no matter how everyone sees me... in the mirror im happy with all that i am... maybe, just maybe if they see what i see... they'll all share my smile..
until then... in the mirror im happy... with this unfortunite thing... im happy

this can go for many people....

dont you hate it when some one fakes in your face and pretends that things are kool when behind your back they wanna talk stupid shit...

dont you hate it when some one is so caught up in there own views they sont even realize that there the ones being hard headed

dont you hate it when some one puts everything on the other person...to the fact that it seems like nothings wrong with them, "i didnt do anything, i'm fuking perfect, its all his fault"- something along those lines

Question
if someone is being themselves, how you gonna tell them there not? and when you do tell them that adn they answer that they are being themselves how does that create anomocity between the two?

If your asian is there a specific way that you have to dress?
wait i have an answer  for that...fuc NO

-Race soes not Specify How yuo dress

antoher Question
How do you know if some one is not being themselves? (especially if yuo haven't known them all of there lives)

another Question
Do People Change?
wait i have an answer for that toooo....Fuc Yess all the fucing time

-but for those that dont know....
i'm still the same old me

for those that trip, and say that im acting so mean or acting so stupid or acting so rude, or whatever the fuc they may say....if yuo see it like that THEN CLOSE YOUR FUCkIN EYES, cuz i act that way towards everyone...and if theres ever a question about me that needs to be answered (i'm not a MUTE and can fully speak for myself) the best thing to do is ASK ME!

another question that i have another answer to
If you dont talk bout others behind they back and dont act fake to anyon ...do you deserve the same back, adn is that too much to ask? ...Hells to tha Mutha Fukin NAs

Unfortunitley...Shit happens....
Flush it down tha toilet

Guess what guys... its My Brithday on Friday...

Holler at that one...surprise party???? sike me and joey really feel left out cuz we never had one... but thats ok...i have to plan my own party and my own night other wise i would stay home and do nothing for my birthday but thats ok cuz imma tell everyone to meet me at a certain place and then act surprised when i see evryone...lol

na yea but 17 and everything its going to be hot... speaking of hot its gotta be like 85 degrees out side right now or hotter cuz god i was sweating like shiiiii aftre school... but thats kool...yea and SHOUT OUTS TO ALL MY DRIVERS OUT THERE...Thanks much JESSICA and TONY and James and Jerry...for giving me rides after school...thats hot... yuo guys are my friends 4 Sho( as josh would say) yea but

WisH me A HaPpy BirTHdAy

Holler at that one...JeSse..